01 Apr BECOMING EXTRAORDINARY WITH ADAM
CONLON
Leadership, humility and the moments that matter
You didn’t grow up expecting to join the military – Looking back, what first drew you towards that path?
I hadn’t really considered the military at all growing up. I didn’t have any family connection to it, and from the outside it felt like a very specific world – one that you assumed you either fitted into or you didn’t.
It was only after university, when I was working in an outdoor education setting, that someone suggested I look into it. I remember being slightly surprised by that, but I went along to visit anyway and that experience shifted something quite quickly.
What stood out wasn’t just the challenge or the physical side of it. It was the people. There was a real mix – different backgrounds, different personalities, different strengths. It made me realise that it wasn’t about being a certain type of person, but whether you could find your place within it.
That sense of belonging was probably the biggest shift for me. Alongside that, there was a strong sense of purpose – the idea of doing something that mattered, with other people, in a very immediate way. That combination is what drew me in.
As a young officer, you found yourself responsible for around 30 soldiers – What did that teach you about leadership?
Very quickly, I realised that leadership wasn’t about having all the answers – although at the start, I thought it was.
You arrive in that environment with the rank and the responsibility, but you’re surrounded by people who have far more experience than you do. I remember feeling like I had to prove myself by knowing everything and not wanting to show any gaps.
What shifted things for me was asking for help, initially out of necessity more than anything else. What I found was that people responded incredibly positively to that – they wanted to contribute and share what they knew.
It made me see that leadership isn’t about being the most knowledgeable person in the room. It’s about recognising the experience around you, showing humility, and creating the conditions where people feel able to step forward.
You’ve operated in high-pressure, uncertain environments – How did that shape the way you think about pressure and decision-making?
One of the biggest lessons for me was how much your mood matters as a leader.
I remember a situation where a mission kept changing and extending. We had less and less information, and frustration started to build within the group. I found myself getting pulled into that, joining in with the frustration because I felt it too.
But I realised quite quickly that my reaction was having an impact. As the leader, if I was visibly frustrated, it gave everyone else permission to feel the same.
That was a real moment of learning. Even when you don’t control the situation, you do have a choice in how you respond to it. You can acknowledge that things are difficult, and there are times where vulnerability matters, but equally there are moments where you need to steady the environment – to give people something to hold onto when things feel uncertain.
That idea has stayed with me ever since. In pressured situations, how you respond often matters more than what you say.
Your career has taken you from the military to Buckingham Palace and beyond – What did those transitions teach you about leadership?
What surprised me most was how similar the underlying challenges were.
On the surface, those environments feel completely different. But when you step into them, you realise that the fundamentals don’t really change. You’re still working with people who want to do well, who want clarity, and who experience pressure and uncertainty in their own way.
That was something I saw just as clearly in Buckingham Palace as I had in the military. The setting may be very different, but the human dynamics are not.
I had the honour of meeting the late Queen towards the end of my army career, and that experience brought that point home in a very simple way. What stayed with me wasn’t anything formal – it was the way she made the interaction feel personal. She had taken the time to understand a little about me, my background and my family, which she didn’t need to do, but it had a huge impact. I felt seen, and it made me want to give more.
It reinforced something I’ve noticed ever since – how the most senior person in the room chooses to treat others really matters, and often, it’s the smallest moments that stay with people the longest.
You’ve worked across very different environments – What have those transitions taught you about adaptability and starting again?
Every time I’ve moved into something new, I’ve felt that same sense of uncertainty – that question of whether I’ve made the right decision, or whether I’m about to be found out.
What I’ve learned is not to rush past that feeling, even though there’s often a temptation to arrive somewhere new and try to make an immediate impact – to prove yourself quickly.
Taking time to observe, listen and understand how things really work – and the dynamics between people – makes a big difference.
That space to read the environment properly allows you to respond in a way that fits, rather than reacting too quickly. Over time, I’ve come to see that as part of the job, not a barrier to it – the ability to step back, make sense of what’s really going on, and then move with intent.
You’ve said that leadership in the military is studied every day – What has stayed with you from that?
The biggest thing is that leadership isn’t something you switch on and off – it’s not a set of tools you apply when needed, but how you show up, consistently, over time.
Your behaviour – especially under pressure – is your leadership. How you respond when you’re tired, frustrated or stretched reveals more than anything you might say in a more controlled setting.
That awareness is something I come back to a lot in my work now. It’s less about giving people a framework, and more about helping them see the impact they’re already having through how they behave day to day.
When you hear the phrase “becoming extraordinary”, what does that mean to you?
For me, it’s much more about awareness than it is about becoming someone completely different.
We all have default reactions, especially in moments of pressure or uncertainty. For example, my instinct when I’m given something big or unfamiliar is to feel a level of doubt, to question whether I’m going to get it right.
What’s changed over time is that I recognise that reaction more quickly. And once you’re aware of it, you have a choice in how you respond. That’s where the shift happens.
Becoming extraordinary, for me, is about understanding yourself well enough to adapt. It’s about knowing your patterns, and then choosing how you respond, rather than being driven by them.